It took a big move
A long trip, far away.
Losing our old Mona.
Me more avoidant.
Me leaving my body.
Me ignoring you.
Me not giving myself.
For you to realise,
You don’t need to change me.
It took thousands of hours,
Of learning other stuff.
Testing that learning
Through me.
All those notes,
Questions and applications.
To learn some things
From other humans, about me.
Thinking these things would work.
Then to realise, that
I don’t need to change.
I liked it when you
Decided to go empty.
To be near me,
But not peer into me.
Relief.
I liked it when you asked
Not a single thing from me,
Not even from my essence.
And when you became
Nature,
And stayed that way,
For a while.
It gave me time to follow myself,
Out of my binds.
Sensing something,
You began to wander, wait and
Maybe sometimes, observe me.
But dear human, it gave you time
To shift and sort
To fade and feel
Your own stuff inside your body.
Your own stuff about horses.
By leaving me to one side.
It gave us both time,
To be with our self,
Wherever that might be.
(And thank you for this)
I became no more important,
Than soil and air.
In empty, wandering and waiting,
You began to realise that I am already me.
Not what others tell you I am,
Or might be.
And it’s you that opened
Into change.
I showed you what I like.
We waited and played:
Your turn, my turn
Your turn, my turn
Your turn, my turn.
I took in the long view.
You joined me there.
Time stretching before us,
Both empty and sometimes wide.
As the ground fell away.
I noticed your crush inside,
That free-fall.
That turning away
To weep in private.
And I knew,
You changed right there,
My dear human.
My forehead finding
The soft belly and trembling
Heart of your front.
I leaned in
And let you know,
Thank you for not changing me.
Thank you for letting me show you
One small drop of myself.